old and worn...

Man, so much has happened this week...I don't even know where to begin. 


What really hit me the hardest was receiving a phone call at 6:30 p.m. Tuesday saying that Pa (my granddad) had been in the emergency room ALL DAY. 


My first thought (selfish me) was "WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME?!?"


Many excuses were thrown my way as I was trying to figure out why I had no idea what was going on...


I began thinking about the time I got to spend with him on friday. (thanks for the reminder, Ana(: ) We were sitting in the den at his house about to watch John Wayne when he fell asleep. I slipped out of the den and headed for my aunt's old bedroom where they keep all the cool old stuff. :) On the headboard of her bed there are two cabinents...one on each side. I opened the one on the right and letters began to spill out. I started reading them and came across this: (spelled like I had spelled it then)
"Dear Pa,
your my fravorite." 


My eyes began to fill with tears as I realized that I was reading the letter I had written him when I was little. I remember exactly what we were told to do. Write a letter to your best friend.  Peering at the imperfect handwriting on the paper I gripped lightly in my shaking hands, I began to read it out loud.


"i am glad we ar frends. i smile when i remeber playing in the park and swinging. you always push me to high but i know if i falled you will save me becuse you are my hero. i know that other girls have a Pa that is there hero but my Pa is the best hero in the world. i like waching (watching) you work on cars. but i like it better when you read me the sleepy skwerl (squirrel..haha) book. i want to write a book about us. you can be the hero and i will be the little girl. (I always knew I wanted to be a writer. (: ) i love you pa. forever and ever.


love,
lady-di."


I began to cry as I thought about that sweet moments we used to share...and how I wished I could make them last forever. I couldn't sleep as I was letting my mind wander. What is going to happen? Is he going to be ok? Is he mad at me for not going to see him? Question after question flooded my mind. I finally drifted off to sleep...the hours I had left until work I could count on one hand. 


Oh, how I wish to be the little girl again. 


He will always be my hero...